Workplace Conversation Tips for Introverts - Life after Lockdown
If you dread having lunch at work because the thought of having conversations in the break room makes you want to vomit in your mouth, then enlist these four steps to make you a better conversationalist:
1. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING
Let’s start with the easiest one for an introvert to master — the part of the conversation where you don’t talk. Good conversationalists don’t just keep the conversation flowing by hogging the spotlight — they spend 50% of the time listening to what the other party is saying and build on from that. When they listen, they give cues to let it be known that they’re interested in what the person is saying — through nodding, agreeing, and making eye contact. Showing that you register what’s being said is a way to make the other person feel they can continue talking with self-confidence, which works really well if you are someone who feels awkward around others.
2. USE YOUR ‘W’s’ AND THAT ‘H’.
As you’re actively listening to the party doing the talking, enlist the help of conversation encouragers ‘who’, ‘what’, ‘where’, ‘when’, ‘why’, and ‘how’. Use these at any quiet moments that pop up which last more than 5 seconds. Remember, quiet moments are okay but when they drag on, use it as a prompt to delve deeper into the conversation with those encouragers.
3. REALISE THAT PEOPLE DON’T GET LOST IN THE DETAILS
There’s so much evidence to prove that introverts are better at analysing the details. However, when you’re struggling to remember those details in a conversation because you think they’re integral to the story, realise that your audience probably doesn’t agree. Skip over the details if it’s dragging the conversation on. Your audiences’ body language should indicate when you’re too invested in remembering the exact day, time, and year your previous manager quit their job. Realise that to them, the most interesting part of the story is the fact that your manager quit their job!
4. REALISE THAT YOU LIVE A LIFE THAT OTHERS CAN RELATE TO
A good conversation, where both parties enjoy it, is one where there’s generous give and take. If you’re an introvert, or just shy, you might be too self-conscious to reveal your life stories to others for fear they’ll perceive you as weird or different. The truth, however, is that we all share commonalities. More often than not, what you did on the weekend is probably very similar to what your colleagues did. So when the other person has finished talking, and it’s your time to speak up, carry the notion that your experiences are probably highly relatable to others — which makes you more likable. You don’t have to deep dive into anything heavy or highly personal — just make sure you’re opening up to others to encourage them to do the same. That’s how connections are formed.